Wednesday, August 21, 2013

To compete, or not to compete. That is the question.

We are less than 12 weeks out from my potential show date, and I am still trying to decide if competing in a show this fall is a wise decision...
I better decide soon, because in order to do something like this, you need to be 100% committed.  In other words, I need to decide wholeheartedly, without a doubt, that I am doing this show.  If I continue to deliberate too long, it's just not going to happen.  Half-assed effort just won't cut it when it comes to prepping for a show. 
I'm genuinely afraid of getting distracted from my primary goal.  Figure prep is all-consuming, and if it distracts me in any way, from my primary goal of doing Fitness, I don't want to do it. 
I am mostly afraid that choosing to compete this fall will eat into my budget for competing in fitness next spring.  The cost of competing gives me serious anxiety every time I think about it (we're talking hundreds, even thousands of dollars), and I know that fitness is even more expensive than the other divisions once you add in choreography, music, etc...
I technically "can" afford it, but I'm constantly thinking about all the opportunity costs. If I were not competing, I could have bought myself the iPad I've been wanting for YEARS.  I could have spent more money on fun experiences in NYC, like Broadway shows and travelled more often. I could have treated myself to more spa days, ate at fancier restaurants, or even splurged on some expensive designer clothes.  I've refrained from doing all of those things, because my budget has been tighter than ever since I began this lifestyle... all the personal training, online coaching, posing sessions, not to mention wholesome fresh food, supplements galore, and all the glitz & glam for show day... it all adds up fast!!  With all the money I've spent so far, I could have gone on vacation to Hawaii - at least two or three times by now.  It's a choice you have to make.
If prepping for Figure will detract from my ability to make real strength gains, if I miss out on valuable time practicing the fitness moves, if I loose endurance, power or flexibility in the process, I don't want to compete this fall. 
I'm also afraid of that nasty thing called post-show.  If prepping for a Figure show - god forbid - messes up my metabolism, uses up all my energy, or throws me back into the depths of ice cream-filled despair, I don't want to do it.  
All these fears keep floating around in my head - some rational. some irrational. But all are very real.
I've dreamed of competing in fitness for so long, that no matter how close I get to making my dream a reality, it's so hard to imagine it actually happening
I just don't want to screw it up.
So the question remains, do I pour 100% of my thoughts, time and energy into preparing for my Fitness show next Spring, and forget about anything else - like other shows - in the meantime?
Can I successfully handle doing both!?

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