Oversleeping is becoming a bad habit

It was eerily quiet as I opened my eyes, rolled over and looked at the clock. 7:43am. wait... what??? 7:43am!!!??? NO! It can't be! I completely overslept and didn't even hear my alarm. That means I missed the Manhattan half marathon. I was supposed to be awake at 6:30, when my alarm went off. By 7:43, I should have already been at Central Park, picked up my tee-shirt, checked my bag, began to warm up, and made my way to the starting line. Instead, I was still lying in bed under the blankets in my pj's. This can not be happening.

This morning's mishap was a major bummer for a couple of reasons. Primarily, I was really looking forward to this race! The Bronx Half Marathon last year was a great race - very enjoyable and fairly effortless despite minimal training. The route left something to be desired, but overall it was a good course and definitely the high point of my 2010 racing season. As a newbie to the city, I was thrilled to learn about the Bronx Half just in time to register. Once I discovered the race was part of a larger Grand Prix series (one half marathon in each borough, spread throughout the year), I vowed to complete the full circuit in 2011. I had such high hopes for this year. However, considering I didn't even make it to the starting line of the Manhattan Half - the first race of the year - that dream died long before it even began. Sometimes I can be way too ambitious in over-planning.

Guess it's for the best after all. I mean, I haven't ran more than 10 miles since the Ted Corbett 10-miler over a month ago, and with the holidays, harsh winter weather, a weakened immune system and a long string of nasty illnesses, I spent way more time with my sheets and blankets than my running sneakers and my New Balance fleece. Mostly out of guilt from missing the race, I vowed to run regardless... and proceeded to stay in bed until about 11:30am. Later that day, I finally took myself outside for a quick 3-mile run just before dusk. Let me tell you, that run was brutal. It was painful. My lungs ached from the icy cold air, my eyes stung from the freezing atmosphere. My toes, fingertips and nose began to go numb. I slipped on the ice and slid through the snowy slush. My legs were sore, my stomach had cramps, and every inch of my body was just screaming at me to stop, from the very second that I started. So, needless to say, it was a painfully slow run. Before I hit 3 miles, I was completely beat. I have no idea how I would have ever lasted 10 more miles on top of that, at sub-freezing temps first thing in the am. It just would never have happened. If I had attempted the half, I seriously think I would have hurt myself. That is pretty much the ONLY reason why I am okay with my oversleeping this one time, and actually very grateful that I did.

Still, I was extremely disappointed in myself. This is the second race I've slept through since moving to the city. Not to mention oversleeping and missing a running guide tour, along with missing out on a long run with friends purely because I slept in too late to meet everyone. This is getting to be a major problem. If I can't drag my but out of bed for something that I love and truly enjoy doing, then there's no hope left for anything else in my life. I am doomed to miss out on things simply due to sheer exhaustion and an inability to get myself up at a reasonable hour... even when I have something exciting going on!

Not to mention all the money I've wasted on race registrations for missed races. Besides these two NYRR races that I slept through, there was the Niagara Falls Half marathon that my friend bailed on me, so I had my registration deferred. Then, the following year I completely forgot about the race and didn't remember - or plan - far enough in advance to get my passport ready. There was about $70 down the drain. Besides that, there was the Ocean Drive Marathon, which I was completely psyched about running in March 09, yet unfortunately I got in a major car accident the week before the race, tore a tiny intercostal muscle, and couldn't run. Thankfully the race director was kind enough to defer my registration to the following year. The next year rolled around, and I found myself untrained, un-prepared, unemployed, and faced with a job offer that required me to move the NYC the very same weekend as the marathon. Needless to say, I once again ate about $70-$90 in race registration fees for a race I never even got to run.

This is getting to be extremely discouraging. Not only am I loosing tons of money on all these missed races, I've let myself (and others) down more times than I care to count. Even with a good nights sleep, sometimes I can't even drag my but out of bed for a run. Oversleeping has always been a problem for me, but it reaches new heights when it starts to interfere with the life I want to be leading. Something's go to give. This is getting to be a really bad habit!

Twitter

I signed up for Twitter today. My hope is that it will make me more accountable for my runs. I already have an app on my iPhone that allows me to "tweet" my runs, so that is precisely what I intend to do. I'll probably insert some other random running-related quotes & such along the way. This could be fun! here's hoping....

Follow me at https://twitter.com/julierunsnyc

Even though I've known about Twitter for the past 3 years (I even e-mailed one of the founders when I worked in recruiting!), this is a whole new world for me, and I'm admittedly very confused! I have no clue what all the @'s and #'s are for... I don't really know what's going on or how to "follow" someone, or what that even means... but I see a lot of potential here, and I want to get involved. It's about time I started getting into some of the more new-fangled social media out there.

I don't want to run anymore

It's been 8 days since my last post, and I've ran precisely ONCE since then. Count it. One time. That's it.

The worst part is, I haven't even felt like leaving the couch. I have all the time in the world right now, and I have energy to spare, but I'm doing absolutely nothing with myself. And I mean absolutely nothing. My big accomplishments from the past 2 weeks include setting up this blog, cleaning my room and doing my laundry. That's about it. I've been job-searching, went on two interviews, started looking for tutoring gigs, ate a lot of chocolate and watched a lot of movies.

I don't even miss running. I don't even want to run anymore. I'm so much more inclined to sit around these days, its actually quite sad. I think I'm in a funk. I mean, I do miss the feeling I got from running. That incredible high that would lift my spirits and have me walking on air for at least the next 24 hours, possibly even longer. I miss the feeling of being slim and fit. The incredible confidence that comes with completing a really tough run or braving the elements. The feeling that I can overcome the odds and do anything I set my mind to. I miss having the desire to run. I miss Julie the runner. Yet, despite all that, for some odd, bizarre, indescribable, inexplainable reason, I don't miss running. I just don't feel like running - it's just not fun anymore. I would so much rather sit on the couch.

I think I'll get back into it once it gets warmer outside... I've never been much of a cold weather runner anyway. here's hoping!

Let the rain wash away all my resolve

Laziness came back with a vengeance today. But in all honesty, I did get a lot accomplished... I was very productive on the job search front.... plus I made time to enjoy the day (I watched a movie!) So the day wasn't a total waste by any stretch of the imagination. Plus, it was raining outside, which is fine, because running in the rain is awesome, but at the same time it is a huge deterrent to actually wanting to go outside in the first place. I was going to run around 1:30pm, then Andrew showed up unexpectedly to hang out for a bit before his class - which was such a great surprise!! - but by the time he left, I decided to continue resting and dedicated myself wholeheartedly to job-searching for the rest of the day.

I also made up my mind about the marathon. At this rate, I doubt I'll ever be ready in time. I found out there's a 10-miler that day, which runs the same course as the marathon, just for the first 10 miles. I think this will be a much more reasonable, much more realistic goal. I can definitely run 10 miles, and I can even work towards a faster time over the next 5 weeks. This way I can continue to run at my leisure without feeling super-guilty about every day that goes by without a run. In the meantime, I can enjoy my time off from work, dedicate myself to looking for a job, and focus on getting things straightened out at home.

I am happy with my decision.

Laziness, be gone!

I finally convinced myself to go out for a run! It only took me two more hours to get out the door, but I did it! I fit in a quick, relatively easy 4-miler and made it back home in enough time to shower, relax a bit, make dinner, and drive to tutoring on time (for a change!). GO ME.

Laziness to the extreme

Dragging myself out the door for a run is so tough nowadays. I don't know what it is... but when faced with the option of bundling up in layers and facing the elements, like snow, and sub-zero wind chills, or lounging inside in my sweats with a fleece blanket on the couch, or even staying in bed... one of the later two options almost always wins. It's horrible.

I've been reading my old running journals and blog entries and I'm in awe of my old self. I can't believe how athletic I was! I read about my running escapades, my treadmill workouts, and my race results; my "easy" pace was so fast! Back in the day - less than 2 years ago - I was running sub-9-min miles on a regular basis and thinking nothing of it! I would occasionally push myself on the treadmill and reach 6-min miles! I did speed workouts every week. Most of the time, it was after a long day at work or right after an hour-long boxing class. Unbelievable! Today, I'm thrilled if I complete an easy run around 9:30! Anything faster than 8:30 is completely unimaginable at this point. What happened??

Well. Work happened. My boyfriend happened. New roommates happened. Lots of roommate drama went down. My gym membership expired. And life as I knew it came to a screeching halt. That's all I have to say about that.

Even now, it's a beautiful brisk winter day and the sun is shining. I've been telling myself to go for a run since I woke up 4 hours ago. Yet, I continue to sit on the computer doing absolutely NOTHING productive in the LEAST. Granted, I applied to 3 new jobs and chatted with a few old friends, but other than that, I have nothing to show for all the time I've spent today staring at a screen. If I had left for my run sooner, I most likely would have been back by now, showered, ate something, and could now be relaxing... reveling in my athleticism and feeling well-justified in having a nice, relaxing afternoon. As it stands right now, I'm disgusted with myself in the fact that I haven't even changed out of pj's or showered yet. I have no good reason for staying inside. It's not like I have anything pressing or urgent to do, and it's not like I have anywhere to be.

If I leave right now, I can still get in a decent run and make it back before dark.... okay, maybe I will run.... maybe... but then again the butterfly chair I'm sitting cross-legged on is just oh-so-comfy... and I'm getting hungry again....